he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
