i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
