Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
