Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
