If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
