She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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