Porn is love you can see.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
