My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
