I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
