I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she pinky promised me she was 18
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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