You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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