May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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