Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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