We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize