called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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