AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
