no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
