dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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