I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
