I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
