Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
