I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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