Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
