I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
