I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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