Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
