Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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