Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
