He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
