she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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