I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Damn victory sex feels great
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize