so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
