there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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