you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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