the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
