You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
there is puke in my bra ... again
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
