my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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