Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
