Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
