i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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