They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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