if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
