Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
