So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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