I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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