you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
