i wish semen tasted like chocolate
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
