i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
