Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
