I hate your face
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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