i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Say something about gay babies.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
