I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
