Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She even gives head with a lisp.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
