worst night to have a conscience
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
