Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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