this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
