Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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