I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't put those talents on a resume
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