Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Someone came in the potted fern
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
