So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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